The 5 Love Languages
(for singles)
Is your love tank running low? Need a filling? But do you know exactly what you need to feel loved and appreciated?
There are five ways. Know which receiving language speaks to you. Know how you can receive love to the full. The exercise below is based on Gary Chapman’s book on the five love languages.
Your receiving love language may or may not be the same as your giving love language. Here, you will hopefully be able to identify your receiving love language. Take this assessment, then let your friends, family and loved ones take it too.
This will also give you a clue to understand how others may have a different way of feeling appreciated, because your love language may be different from the person next to you. And that’s okay.
Write a mark “/ ” per letter every time it’s the answer, and tally after.
A: ____________
B: ____________
C: ____________
D: ____________
E: ____________
*Note: The touch or physical contact referred to below can be from a friend, colleague or family members and no malice is intended. It is not about passionate romantic touch.
1. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. someone I love sends me a loving note, text, or email for no special reason.
E. I hug someone I love.
2. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. I can spend alone time with someone I love — just us.
D. someone I love does something practical to help me out.
3. It’s more meaningful to me when…
C. someone I love gives me a little gift as a token of our love of concern to each other.
B. I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time with those I love.
4. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love does something unexpected for me to help me with a project.
E. I can share an innocent touch with someone I love.
5. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. someone I love puts their arm around me in public.
C. someone I love surprises me with a gift.
6. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. I’m around someone I love, even if we’re not really doing anything.
E. I can be comfortable holding hands, high-fiving, or putting my arm around someone I love.
7. It’s more meaningful to me when…
C. I receive a gift from someone I love.
A.I hear from someone I love that they love me.
8. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. I sit close to someone I love.
A. I am complimented by someone I love for no apparent reason.
9. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. I get the chance to just “hang out” with someone I love.
C. I unexpectedly get small gifts from someone I love.
10. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. I hear someone I love tell me, ‘‘I’m proud of you.”
D. someone I love helps me with a task.
11. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. I get to do things with someone I love.
A. I hear supportive words from someone I love.
12. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love does things for me instead of just talking about doing nice things.
E. I feel connected to someone I love through a hug.
13. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. I hear praise from someone I love.
C. someone I love gives me something that shows they were really thinking about me.
14. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. I’m able to just be around someone I love.
E. I get a back rub from someone I love.
15. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. someone I love reacts positively to something I’ve accomplished.
D. someone I love does something for me that I know they don’t particularly enjoy.
16. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. I’m able to be in close physical proximity to someone I love.
B. I sense someone I love showing interest in the things I care about.
17. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love works on special projects with me that I have to complete.
C. someone I love gives me an exciting gift.
18. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. I am complimented by someone I love on my appearance.
B. someone I love takes the time to listen to me and really understand my feelings.
19. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. I can share a meaningful touch in public with someone I love.
D. someone I love runs errands for me.
20. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love does something special for me to help me out.
C. I get a gift that someone I love put thought into choosing.
21. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. someone I love doesn’t check their phone while we’re talking to each other.
D. someone I love goes out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on me.
22. It’s more meaningful to me when…
C. I can look forward to a holiday because I’ll probably get a gift from someone I love.
A. I hear the words, “I appreciate you” from someone I love.
23. It’s more meaningful to me when…
C. someone I love and haven’t seen in a while thinks enough of me to give me a little gift.
D. someone I love takes care of something I’m responsible to do that I feel too stressed to do at the time.
24. It’s more meaningful to me when…
B. someone I love doesn’t interrupt me while I’m talking.
C. gift giving is an important part of the relationship with someone I love.
25. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love helps me out when they know I’m already tired.
B. I get to go somewhere while spending time with someone I love.
26. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. someone I love touches my arm or shoulder to show their care or concern.
C. someone I love gives me a little gift that they picked up in the course of their normal day.
27. It’s more meaningful to me when…
A. someone I love says something encouraging to me.
B. I get to spend time in a shared activity or hobby with someone I love.
28. It’s more meaningful to me when…
C. someone I love surprises me with a small token of their appreciation.
E. someone I love touches me frequently to express our friendship.
29. It’s more meaningful to me when…
D. someone I love helps me out – especially if I know they’re already busy
A. I hear someone I love tell me that they appreciate me.
30. It’s more meaningful to me when…
E. I get a hug from someone I love whom I haven’t seen in a while.
A. I hear someone I love tell me how much I mean to him/her.
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Results
A Words of Affirmation
B Quality Time
C Receiving Gifts
D Acts of Service
E Physical Touch
The highest score for any single receiving love language is 12.
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Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
Quality Time
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you.
Acts of Service
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.
Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
More links:
https://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/
Youtube Videos:
Physical Touch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssjx-9-MmRk
Acts of Service: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJtty8K38X4
Words of Affirmation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go1_vSfhbok
Time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mov7T51eGKw
Gifts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vhk811_RtM
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